Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

- Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

- Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!

- Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

- Hand me that...uh...that...uh....

.thingie. - Oh no! I just lost my Rolex. - Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before? - Darn, there go the lights again... - You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them. - Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! - Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?

- Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.

- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

- She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!

- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out of here!