Five Funny Messages to Send via Twitter

- The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

- I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have
smelled like.

- Crime doesn't pay… Does that mean my job is a crime?

- This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an
dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read
without the word dog.

- Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower
than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?